Soaking Up the Weather

Cold rain crashes against my window and the wind sounds a steady, ominous voice through the trees outside. Winter season has never been my favorite as I notice my emotions tend to flow with the weather. When all is dark and cloudy and rain covers the ground in gigantic pools, its as if my world becomes so much smaller and life closes off around me. Its a bit depressing, but I've learned to deal with it. In my days living in Seattle, I would bring my notebook and a pen (yes, a pen...) and hunt down a coffee house with a chill, ambient atmosphere. One of my faves was a place called Cafe Ladro on top of Queen Anne hill. Basically, it offered everything that Starbucks lacks in setting and feel. Or maybe I'd just go sit and do my laundry and watch the people busily slaving over their clothes, lugging them in baskets through the rain out to their cars. I'd sit and write for hours about the goings on around me or perhaps some new philosophical idea that happened into my mind. It was good times and a way for me to vent or get whatever feelings I had out and onto the paper.

But now, in school once more, writing is not for fun and neither do I have time to make it so. Free time is now spent playing computer games to try and distract my attention from my classwork if only for a brief and fleeting moment in time. I keep in mind that it's all coming to an end in a matter of months and that thought gets me through although I am not sure where I'll be or what I'll be doing after this ends. I find that thought both frightening and comforting. Its frightening because I have no stream of income yet bills loom large on the horizon. At the same time, its comforting, or maybe just casually interesting to me, that I will be free once again. I suppose that one primary thing I've sought for in my life is freedom. So school with end and I know I'll be somewhere doing something; no matter where or what that is I know that I'll be free to go after it. With my special someone still in school for awhile longer, I'll have time to find that dream and start down that road and have myself being just where I want to be and doing just what I want to do.

It all lies ahead in my future and it will happen. Just need to endure a few more term papers, essays, midterms and exams before it does. Jiayou! Ganbatte! Do your best! Keep on believin"!