A Long Walk

I wandered away from the house at around 6pm yesterday thinking that I'd just take a leisurely walk around the neighborhood. But the road has a way of enticing, stretching further into the distance and time slips by in such a manner that I found myself on the other side of town wondering how to get back. There is a highway, HWY 26 - a.k.a. Sunset Hwy, that extends from Portland over 100 mi. out to the Oregon Coast. Along this stretch very few foot bridges cross and it is always packed with cars, too busy to hustle across directly. Of course, I crossed one a couple of miles back and was searching for another bridge ahead. "Turn back? Fuck no! Not today, thank you kindly." -Hunter S. Thompson I was in for the long haul. Miles of road ahead and absolutely no thoughts in my mind about the next bridge.

Slowly, I worked my way, looping this way and around and through and up and down and over and under a golf course and a small river running through it. After another hour or so I found another bridge and managed to cross once more.

"So, is that it?" I can almost hear your thinking. No, that's not it! When I'd made it all the way back to my apartment, did I go inside? NO! I started up the car and took off on my next adventure: Powell's Books.

I'd driven another half hour to reach the area's largest bookstore, intent on purchasing the next Dark Tower in Stephen King's series, when I was suddenly struck with inspiration. I would search for classics by Lafcadio Hearn.

There was an artist (a writer) named Lafcadio Hearn who wrote tales on Japan during the late 1800's. He was a westerner who had spent a good deal of time in the Far East. The imagery he uses and the scenes his words paint are amazing. I'd come across some of his works during my own voyages out East, but had not owned any substantial bulk of them. Since Powell's Books also sells used books, and has a VERY large warehouse, I figured I'd give them a look.

YATTA! I found a thick book of "The Selected Writings of Lafcadio Hearn" in great condition. Long story short, I bought it and am eagerly awaiting lunch break to dig into this mental food.

On My Porch

I had a really relaxing day today. Probably the best day I've had in about a week. I was overdue. So, here's how it went down:

I'd scheduled meetings every hour with my "stakeholders", as they're called in Corporate-lingo. What they really are are people you need to shmooze and squeeze to eek your way through the corporate quagmire and up in to the executive offices. In short, they are your competition; however, you must work with them like Tai Chi to balance yourself, ultimately using their own force against them. Om....

So I'd done that every hour, on the hour, from start to close of business. It's an art, really. Kind of a dance. Anyway, I managed to get through my work and exercise routine home to a nice, sunny porch with a good book and a mug of beer.

Maybe its just enough for me to say today was a good day. ["I didn't have to use my A.K."]... --Ice Cube (serious old school)

Reflections

I went for a drive this evening. It began around 6:00pm and Im just getting home nearly four and a half hours later. I needed to get away for a bit. Even though I just came back from a trip to Arizona, I felt a little trapped in my summer apartment. Part of it is that I miss my cici and part of it is that I have nothing to do on the weekend. To the first point, my CCTX, I'll just need to get an international calling card and the phone number. To the second point, I've decided to keep myself busy on weekends by taking day-trips around. Next weekend I might drive to Seattle and visit with some friends there, for example.

But summer will go by fast enough and before too long I'll be in Japan and then right back to school in late September. August is almost here and time is rolling along. It's important to enjoy Summer, even though I'm already looking towards Autumn.

Escape from Arizona

It began at 4:30am with an alarm clock radio blaring static and garbled voices from some dial setting in between actual stations. I awoke wide-eyed and anxious to get my stuff together and out the door, away from the (Dis-)Comfort Inn and it's bouquet of smells coming in off the hallway. Breakfast went quickly, then I hit the bathroom and a double-check of the room and I was out. 5:15am. The flight time was 7:29 and I had every confidence of being one of the first at the terminal. But it was not to be!

The gas gauge was nearly on empty as planned (prepaid refill), so a straight shot to the rental return bay was in order. I merged onto I-10 West, toward Sky Harbor Int'l Airport. "Shouldn't be difficult to circumnavigate the Airport and find the rental bay," I told myself. "But which exit to take?" I questioned my judgement as I flew passed the exit labeled: Airport Terminals. "Could've sworn I got onto I-10 East from the rental place a bit further down." Unfortunately, no exit was labeled: Hertz Rental Cars - Next Exit. So, I turned around. The gas warning light had been on steady since the hotel and at this point the car started beeping loudly. I nervously pulled over to check it out. The door light was also lit and I was hoping beyond hope that I'd left the trunk ajar AND that my bags were still there. I had and they were. Whew! One hurdle taken and countless more ahead. I swung around, back onto I-10, this time headed East. That Airport exit just had to be the one.

I made my way to that exit and eventually got to the airport but again, no sign saying: Hey, jackass, Return Bay This Way. I fumed. Then turned the car around and headed... where? Where did I go? And why did I choose that direction? I can't say. I went toward 44th street, stopping at a gas station, cursing the steering wheel and all the other components inside the car with me. Man, did I yell! I shouted so loudly that I hurt my throat from the strain. A few minutes passed by and I went inside to ask if anyone knew how to find Hertz Rental Cars. Thankfully, one of the patrons knew the exact location and how to get there. 5:45am and not far to go. I ran back to the car, lept in and headed off once more.

I'd gone about half-way when suddenly the car would no longer accelerate and my steering wheel became stiff. On the road, blocks away from a gas station, my car died and coasted gently along for one ... two ... three blocks and ... right into the gas station, inches from the pump! Miracle! I said a quick prayer and put exactly one gallon into the tank, shooting the breeze with another patron and two guys who came up to ask for spare change (quite politely, though). "You mean you ran out of gas just now?" the other patron asked wide-eyed. "Yeah. Perfect place for it, huh?" I responded in a not-quite-there, unfocused tone. A few more words and I was back in the hunt. Hertz was just around the corner and then I was home free. ...Or so I thought.

Returning the car was quick and easy ... once I finally got to the bay ... and there was a nice shuttle-bus waiting to transport me to my terminal. Dropped me off right in front of my check-in booth. Within minutes I'd checked my baggage and received my ticket. I didn't mind that the box indicating seat number was empty. "Probably just something to do with E-ticketing," I said naively to myself. "I'll just check in at the gate window and they'll assign my seat there," which I really wanted to believe was true. So I scrambled to the security check-point and, after waiting in line for a good thirty minutes (or was that just fifteen that felt like thirty?) I grabbed my stuff, flinging my briefcase open and spreading papers and notebooks out on the floor around me. Unphazed and undaunted, I quickly collected my things and to the gate I ran. 6:45am.

A woman stood behind the gate window and a sign reading: Volunteers Needed flashed on the screen behind her. "Volunteers? This can't be good," my intuition went on. I asked the staff-woman which seat number I would claim and why had that box been left blank on my boarding pass?

"That's because you don't have a seat, sir," she replied courteously. "Your reservation is not confirmed."

"But what the... (I immediately calmed myself down) So, what happens now? I've never been in this situation before."

"We're asking for volunteers, those who don't [have an urgent] need to take this flight, to give up their seat and take a later flight."

"I see. How far down the wait-list am I?"

"Looks like ... you're third on the list."

"All right. And what if that doesn't happen?"

"Then we put you on a later flight."

"Any idea when that would be"

"I'm sorry, sir. We're not certain, but we're looking at tomorrow."

I lost my breath and my mind swam with thoughts about where I would stay and what I would do with my time if it came to that. But it wouldn't go that far. At the very last minute another guy and I were called to the window and granted seats. Mine was a window seat, no less, which the other guy wanted to trade for; but, after the events of that morning, I wasn't going for it. At last I boarded the plane, we took off, and here I am now back in my office putting this days wild wild story down in words.

At last, I escaped from Arizona.

Last one from the Road...

Today's work finished early and I headed out around noon. Back at the hotel pool soaking in that desert sun I decided that, instead of spending a total of eight hours driving to and from the Grand Canyon, I would catch a day-hike at Camelback Mountain. Its a quick 20 minute drive north of Phoenix and overlooks the city. Its a moderate 1.5 mile hike to the summit; don't forget to bring plenty of water. My plan is to get to the top by 7pm, when the sun just begins to sink into the distant hills in the west.

Afterward, I'll head back and rest up before an early flight out tomorrow. Then its back to the great northwest and lukewarm days under a grey, hazy sky.

Ah, Arizona. It's been a great trip.

'nuf for now

Day Two: From the Road

No, I didnt get lost today. I found the facility no problem. But, wandering around inside the building --actually a series of connected buildings-- was not easy. Ever played the game Half-Life? I felt like Gordon Freeman roaming the halls, evading head crabs and lightning-zapping aliens.

Two more days of the same. Im thinking of taking a day trip to the Grand Canyon on Thursday. Its about a four hour drive from here, and my plane leaves before dawn on Friday. So it would be a quick blaze there and back, with just enough time to shut my eyes before jetting off home the next day.

And here's a quick shout out to my close someone and all my friends who stand up for themselves and trust in God's love.

Peace. And Keep on Keeping on!

Desert Sun

Arizona. I went for a very brief walk in the light of the setting sun and my arms turned pink. Whether that says more about either the strong sun here or my pasty white skin im not sure. But one thing I am sure of is that its HOT! Real HOT!

I wasn't planning on posting an entry today, but something interesting happened on the way to work... Always prepared, I'd printed out directions from my hotel to the meeting site before I left Oregon. The problem: I have four days worth of meetings in AZ and they are not all at the same location. Long story short, I went to the wrong building this morning. Now, I should say that Ive never been to Phoenix nor am I familiar with the different locations (campuses) my company maintains. So, I really had no clue I was at the wrong place until I asked an employee I met in the parking lot how to find XYZ Building. After learning that it was 10+ miles away and me with 10 minutes left until the meeting began, I hopped in my rental car... A 2005 MUSTANG... and blazed across the desert sands to the correct site. Made it just in time.

I really enjoy driving that car! Ever seen that tv ad where someone is driving a car while filming the spedometer and odometer to show 0 - 60 in X seconds? Well, that was me, flying like a rocket, tires squeeling around the corners.

So, that is all for now. More tales to come. DWTX, signing out from the middle of the dry, hot, endless desert.

Hazy Summer Daze

Has summer finally arrived or is it just my imagination? I'm on the verge of a week-long biz trip to Arizona and it feels like a vacation. I'll be in meetings, trainings and so on, but it feels just like I'm jetting off for another adventure. Which is weird, because it doesn't feel like its time for another adventure. Ive recently come back from Japan, gone through the first year of grad school and am working toward completion in '06. After that, maybe it'll be time to do something new. But I think that even then the adventure will be just finding a full time job and working toward buying a house and all that domestic stuff.

True, I'm going to Japan for a week in September, but that isn't the same thing as a new adventure. That is so I can maintain contact with old friends and an old way of life I'd adopted during my prolonged, three-year stay there. So, I think it boils down to a few events happening concurrently: 1) My special someone is returing to Malaysia next week for two months; I'm going to Arizona for a week; and, I'm still excited about having bought my tix back to Japan. Individually, each of these events would be significant. Put them together and I get to feeling kinda weird. Its a good weird, though. Almost as if I am having a kind of summer adventure.

That said, it's about time for this adventurer to get on with it. I'll finish packing and getting my butt down to the airport.

More reports from the road yet to come...

Flight from the USA

Once more to Japan I go! I've just booked my trip back to the Far East at Summer's end. It will be great to go back and see some old friends and to visit the places I used to call home little more than a year ago. Wow! Only a year has gone by yet it feels so much longer. The MBA program has really exceeded my expectations of the U. of Oregon. Mostly, I've been lucky to have worked on a two-term project for "a major online book retailer" (whose name I am forbidden to expressly state). Beyond that, I've found the professors very engaging and my classmates are top-notch as well. It's competitive yet a co-operative environment that truly enhanced my knowledge and skills as a result. Not that Im writing as an ad for UO...

Having gone through all that and an Internship and looking forward to another year of the same, I'm eager to return to Japan before too much more time passes by. I can see myself saying, "I should go back and visit Takamatsu Pond again, but maybe in December, when swans make the winterscape a scene like no other." Then when December comes, "I'm really kind of busy with my job search so I'd better plan on going in Spring. Hey, then I could join some hanami parties." But Spring would roll around and I'd be busy with some project or another and I'd put it off until Summer. Summer becomes Fall and Winter and Spring and Summer once more, only then I'm not in school, I'm working full time and begin thinking about visiting places I've never been. Time goes by and who knows when I go back to Japan? By then so much will have changed in my life and with my friends that it is not the same place anymore; the Japan I knew and called home doesn't exist anymore; my memories are confined to old photos and letters and trinkets of years before.

No, that won't happen. I've already booked my flight and looked into getting a JR Rail pass (Ride JR Trains anywhere, free for one week) and am renewing my lost passport. I'm laying plans and working my schedule. I will not let this time be wasted. I will go back and renew old friendships and visit old places as well as some new ones and refresh in my mind how it felt to live somewhere half way around the world.

-D

Keeping Busy

I wonder if it really is more important to look busy at work than to actually be productive. I've found that the more items I have on my calendar the more acknowledgement I get from my boss and co-workers. It's not that I have a myriad of tasks to do, or even a series of urgent meetings to attend. In fact, the things on my calendar (MS Outlook) now are informational meetings, employee gatherings, and web-based training courses. I dont want to give the wrong impression though. These are all things I am supposed to do at this stage in the course of my Internship. I'm really not a slacker. And I'd have done these things (and more) whether or not I remembered to block out the time on my calendar.

One of my biggest strengths is my flexibility and ability to multi-task. So, when I first came to this company, I didnt think it was so important for me to fill in my calendar with such trivialities as, "How to XXXXX - E-Training" because I am able to do more things than one at any given time. But when I omitted these items from the calendar, I received calls from the Honcho saying, "Maybe we need to enroll you in some additional training courses." Or, "I think we need to meet at least a few times a week until you get ramped up into your project." And when he made these comments I just shot back with that day's goal and informed him that I'd already completed it! I'm not just flexible, I'm quick as well. His usual response, "Oh, I see. Excellent work. Let's schedule a time to go over this more this afternoon." So, I'd schedule the meeting and we'd go over it and he'd say the same thing again. It's almost as if he just wanted to be kept busy.

I thought I might test this theory out. I would schedule all appointments, meetings, training sessions, etc. and see what happened. Night and day! I noticed the difference almost immediately. Calls from the Honcho dropped off like a cliff and something even more interesting happened; I had fewer tasks assigned to me and was almost never bugged about delivery dates. It's not like he couldn't see what I had scheduled; he knew what I was putting up there and they were all true action items. But how could a company as leading-edge as this be so single-task oriented? Maintaining sole focus on one action at a time throws multi-tasking right out the window. I won't let that stop me though. I see this as just another way to get ahead. Make myself look busy, and then continue to over-deliver on my results. More kudos, more acknowledgement and a promotion/raise right around the corner. Thank you MS Outlook, Thank you!

Mad Dash to Eugene

It began at 4:00PM yesterday. No, wait. To tell this story right, I need to start at the beginning...

My summer internship began on June 20th at Intel in Hillsboro. From day one I've had such a flurry of deliverables and actions required (AR's) so that when July 1st rolled around I was more than ready for my first direct deposit paycheck. Only, when I checked my account, there was no deposit. In a rush I called the payroll department to see about my funds and found that they had my bank account number incorrect in their system. D'oh!

A few emails later the nice payroll department staff woman assured me that the check was in the mail. And it was though, as I later discovered, sent to my previous address in Eugene. "Well, no problem," I told myself, "The post office will forward it to my new address within a day or two." But two days rolled by, then three, then four and my nerves were shot. I called payroll once more just to confirm their idiocy expecting to discover that they hadn't sent the check when they promised, but sometime afterward. No such news. At 3:45PM yesterday I learned to my horror that they had FedEx-ed the thing to Eugene. "WTF!" I silently screamed from my not-so-private cubicle. More frantic phone calls and quick conversations with the people at FedEx to verify that they still had the package in Eugene and I was out the door and on the road at a quarter-past four. The Eugene FedEx closed at six, so that left me with 1:45 to travel 120 miles through rush hour traffic.

Down Hwy 26, through the heart of Portland's Monday rush hour traffic, to connect to Hwy 217 and onto I-5 for a frantic drive just flirting with a speeding ticket the whole way. I kept so focused on the road and my speed and the cars ahead of me that I ignored the tension growing in my shoulders as I drove like I was racing NASCAR. I kept pace through the all too infrequent mile signs that told me by how much time I would miss the FedEx office's closing moments. I increased my speed just a bit but I was so focused on the goings on around me that I was driving as safely as if I had followed the limit exactly.

Finally I saw the sign, "Springfield, Exit 195, - 1 mi." And I knew. I knew I was going to make it! Five minutes to spare, I rolled into the FedEx parking lot and picked up that which had eluded me for nearly two weeks... I finally got paid!!! And now comes the really fun part: writing checks and paying bills. Oh, the joy. So, after a trip to the bank, I spent some time in Eugene with a close someone, got back to Hillsboro around 2:00AM, and had time to close my eyes briefly before starting work --complete with an 8:00AM meeting-- the following morning.

Looking back on the whole thing, it was kind of fun. Not that I'm eager to repeat the events. But it's now just one of those things I can file away and recall and smile at the random insanity of it all.

-D

20/20 Hindsight

A close someone brought to my attention that my last post was rather depressing. Now, looking back on it just a few hours later, I see that as well. That was so not my point. By calling out the silliness of working toward non-lasting ends, I only meant to point out that we would all do well to realize that to some degree each of us has fallen victim to the belief that life is work or vice versa.

Its kind of a pipe dream that everyone should do something that they love and that all our efforts should be focused on some overarching goal. Its also a utopian ideal that all people should work for the betterment of humankind. If overall betterment was something people truly wanted then that desire would be reflected in the kind of goods demanded of the companies and firms that would produce them, ceteris paribus.

Okay, I realize that even this post is getting a bit gloomy. So, here's the point: we should realize that life is rather silly and that the point of life is not to spend all of one's time in a cubicle, an office, or even a boardroom but rather to get out from behind our desks, to run, to play, to love and laugh and cry and to be...just be.

Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays...

I just love that line from "Office Space". Not, of course, that I have "a case of the Mondays", but that today IS Monday and ... whatever.

I've often thought that people spend entirely too much of their life working. And I really wonder why that is. That old phrase "running the rat race" comes to mind. It would make sense if mankind were working towards a single goal, or series of goals that had some sort of significance other than triviality. Say, if there were only a few sectors of work, each with a primary purpose. Feeding humanity would be one; clothing and housing would be one; building a communications network would be another; and perhaps some lofty goal (ie, terraforming mars) would be yet another. For the time being, I guess I must include the military as an essential sector as well, though in a perfect world...

Anyway, it occurred to me that so much of our effort is spent on things that will not last and do not really matter, in that the fruits of our labor do not contribute to the betterment of man. In fact, some industries are actually a detriment to society (eg. the oil industry in general, various industries unwillingness to adopt "green" technologies and practices, the tobacco industry, etc.).

It just struck me, as I look over the walls of my cubicle and peer into a sea of identical cubes in a vast room, in a building of many similar rooms, on a campus of identical buildings, within a city comprised of more of the same, that there are more people than not who are spinning their wheels and not going anywhere. Meetings upon endless meetings spent discussing the same topic with little to no progress evidence my observations. We've all experienced these, and they're not always bad. Sometimes the point of a meeting is something besides tangible progress towards project completion. Sometimes we need to meet in order to remember that there are others outside our own cubicle who also spend their lives in cubicles just like our own. However, more often than not, it seems as though we are just hamsters on the wheel.

In the end, we just try to convince the boss that we have done something somewhat productive in order to justify our paycheck, in order to pay our bills, in order to have the things we have, in order to live our life. And I just wonder why? Why do people believe that they need to work to earn to buy to have to live instead of just living? Its strange how complex we make our lives and get so wrapped up in the rules we make that we forget how to just be.

That said, I should get back to work. Need to convince that boss that I am a productive little rodent as well.

Occurrence and Chance

Wow, what a funky title for a blog entry, eh? Well, it just came to mind so I went with it. Anyway, this entry is all about those things we consider to be coincidence but may be more than that. I'll stand up on my soapbox and spew my thoughts out in a fast flurry once again.

I was just sending an email to some people (let's call them 'my people') to announce the upstart of this-here blog. And it occurred to me that I could draw a sort of family tree but with friends. It would list who introduced me to whom and those I met on my own initiative etc. I realized that at least half the people I know I wouldnt have ever met if it weren't for the connection through older friends.

Its really just chance who we will meet and how and when. Mostly, I realized that, as you move up the tree towards the base of oldest friends, those individuals are more like family to me. Like a huge network with those nearest to me at the center.

To those friends, I send my love and just marvel at the simple complexity of it all.

'nuff for now.

Diatribe #1 (aka The First Rant)

It occurs to me, as I sit here at my computer, typing this entry when I should be working... that since there are so many blogs out there (millions, so I hear) I wonder who will chance upon mine. And if anyone does stumble upon this site, who will stay and read and perhaps wonder who I am or what I do in this wide and crazy world? Is this just another bit of random text floating in the electronic sea of the Internet or will it matter? Maybe I'll say something that strikes a chord with someone or perhaps just bring a laugh or a smile to someone's gloomy day. Who can say? Whatever comes of this, I'll write just the same and post as if it matters. Because it does matter, if only to me.

More to come. Must work now. Meeting in ten minutes.

"Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be."
Anton Chekhov (1860 - 1904)